Often, the holidays can be stressful and difficult. The following suggestions are designed to help you create a peaceful and happy holiday experience. Likewise, they will serve you well throughout the year if you practice them regularly.
- Practice self-care. Nourish yourself physically by healthy eating and exercise. Make time for meals-your body can’t run without fuel. Exercise 2-3 times weekly by going to the gym, walking your dog, window shopping at the mall. Exercise is also a great stress buster. Recharge your emotional engine making time to do something you enjoy every day or 2. Savoring a cup of coffee, taking a bubble bath, visiting with a friend, listening to music. Feed your spirit by a nature walk, positive affirmations, listening or reading someone who inspires you, giving to others.
- Practice relaxation. Take breaks in the day. Stop running around at record speeds. The “perfect gift” doesn’t exist so grab a cup of tea and breathe. Close your eyes and spend 5 minutes, breathing in to the count of 3, holding for a couple seconds and then out to the count of 3. If a thought strays in, let it go. Focus you attention on your heart spreading calm and warmth through your body. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Studies show that relaxation can boost immunity, and improve mood and sleep.
- Spend your time wisely. Choose one activity which makes the holidays special for you and make certain to do it. Whether it’s baking or caroling or watching a special holiday film. Maybe you exchange gifts with someone or go for a carriage ride at Tilles Park. Don’t let your “to do” list consume you. Prioritize what really has to get done, and cut out what you can. Stop and think “Will doing this make me feel good” or tired and stressed? Opt for feeling good at least once a day.
- Have realistic expectations of yourself. Many people feel disappointed at the holidays because their fairytale image of what “should be” doesn’t materialize. The more you didn’t have a “magical” holiday experience growing up, the more you may struggle to create it now. Again, refocus your attention on feeling “good” internally, not finding the perfect Christmas tree. Build a fire and roast marshmellows, shop with a friend, take a long walk in the woods. These are treasures no one can take from you, perfect all alone, and totally in your control.
- Have realistic expectations of others. No one’s family or friends are perfect, and the holidays won’t change this. Likewise, some get worse with stress and retriggering of past holiday problems. So, since you can’t change them, you’ll have to rely on yourself to gather what’s positive and let go of the negative. If you think a situation/gathering could or becomes highly negative, don’t go or leave quietly. You don’t need to endure feeling bad to spare their feelings. Maybe, though, there’s a pleasant aspect to whiney Aunt Martha, you’ve overlooked. Pretend you’re a stranger just meeting her, and see.
- Stay cool. Because the holidays may trigger more relationship stress, calm yourself by “not taking it personally”. When Uncle Bert who’s annoying makes an offhanded remark, remind yourself it’s his issue not yours. If your partner snaps about household clutter because he/she’s stringing Christmas lights while baking cookies, understand it’s his/her stress targeting you. Don’t let him/her take their bad mood out on you but don’t react poorly yourself. If you think you’re part of the problem, ask what you may have done or said, and then change what you can.
- Practice the serenity prayer. When all else fails, say to yourself, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. Accept that if your partner has shopped the night before for gifts for the last 10 years, it’s likely to occur again. So, relax, and let yourself de-stress by not dwelling on their behavior. Choose to enjoy your evening. Forget about calling them to check on their progress or remind them of their poor choice. Be wise. Know the difference.
- Create new traditions. Hallmark did not invent the holidays. Create your own images of holiday cheer. It could be dressing your dogs in Santa hats, singing in the choir, hosting a party for your friends a.k.a. family of choice, visiting the elderly, driving around with your family to see “all” the Christmas lights. Do what fills your heart with joy. There is no “right” way to celebrate the holidays. What’s important is to participate in activities which are meaningful and help celebrate the season for you.
- Giving to others. Giving is a great way to help someone and yourself feel good. And, it’s easy. Tomorrow at work, give a co-worker a smile or compliment. Thank the checker at the market. Hug your child and express your love. Extend kindness to family and friends. Share a positive attitude. . Donate your time to a women’s shelter, food pantry, children’s hospital. Help someone less fortunate. Be charitable with your money and spirit.
- Practice gratitude. Be grateful for life’s blessings. Each morning as you awaken, express thanks for 3 positive aspects of your life, i.e. good health, good friends, loving family, and at night when you go to sleep. If you feel bad, remember what is still positive in spite of current hardships. Review your day until you can find at least one good thing that’s happened. This will create a more positive mindset, and help you attract what you want in your life. We live in an abundant universe where we can shape our lives by making gratitude and the other practices mentioned, part of our daily routine.