Halloween is fun, but we want to dress up a little (human) pumpkin
Thanksgiving is great, but the announcements of friends expecting turkeys can be hard
And now we are in the midst of December when Americans celebrate one holiday or another. The party calendar is seriously busier than normal, and we’re shopping, wrapping, decorating or cooking.
It’s easy to feel emotionally overwhelmed each time someone else announces their pregnancy or posts pictures of their little ones with Santa, and the busyness of the season can also leave us energetically depleted. Goodbye, healthy (or semi-healthy diet). Hello, special occasions, huge meals and sugar comas.
So why, after months of silence on this blog, have I come back to point out the things you guys already know?
Well, because I missed you and – of course – I want to talk about surviving December by using self-care.
1. Set Healthy Boundaries
If you don’t want to go to the company party, skip it. If you are exhausted and it feels like too much to make the 6 dozen cookies you normally do, make 3 dozen (or none). Give yourself permission to slow down and ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself during the holiday season.
What holiday traditions are non-negotiables, the things I truly want to keep up with this year? Which events could wait until next year?
How much energy do I have to give myself? What is left over for others?
Setting healthy boundaries means you are creating the physical, emotional, and mental limits necessary to stay present and positive in everything you must do, and while it’s common for many of us (especially women) to feel guilty about putting our needs before others – especially during the holiday season – it’s a critical necessity for people struggling to stay focused on what they need.
Personal boundaries are a tool you should use every day. In fact, they are the foundation that self-care is built on. Please be kind to yourself as you navigate this season the best way you know how. It’s okay to say no to things you normally do, and it’s okay to do what’s best for you.
A few tips/tricks to consider:
- Avoid overwhelm by creating a schedule and limiting your time on certain tasks you must complete. Plan out your shopping trips, decide how many hours you can dedicate to Aunt Martha, and create a schedule that allows you to feel less overwhelmed before you even walk out of the door.
- Create a self-care schedule, too. Put your Epson salt bath or 15-minute elliptical training on the calendar. Yes, even schedule in time to color or meditate.
2. Only Buy into as Much Magic as feels Healthy
The holiday season, particularly Christmas, is the most wonderful time of the year, right? From an early age we’re taught December brings magic, and so it’s not uncommon to subconsciously carry this belief through our lives, even when we’ve experienced less-than-stellar year’s end already!
But, in truth, this time of year sees an increase in calls to crisis hotlines and many people who struggle with depression and anxiety feel it even more intensely right now. In fact, most trauma survivors feel a sense of grief or heartbreak now (and maybe don’t realize why). When we aren’t feeling our best and we’re inundated with messages of magic and peace and joy, we can really start to feel terrible about feeling terrible.
Only buy into as much magic as feels healthy to you right now. Ignoring or downplaying your feelings will only magnify them in the long run.
And, hey, just because you acknowledge that this time of year isn’t exactly wonderful for you right now doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate or feel joy. It just means you’re not setting yourself up with an expectation of perfection that will likely make you feel even worse when things don’t go as planned.
You don’t have to be a complete Scrooge, friends, just find the balance that feels right for you.
3. Use Your Five Senses to Calm Your Thought
Did you know your senses can help you calm your mind?
- Tasting something sour shifts your brain’s focus away from whatever is bothering you
- Smelling something reminiscent of grandma’s chocolate chip cookies can take you back to a better time.
- Holding onto a stone or rock helps you feel grounded
- Focusing your sight on moving images can also calm your brain (like slow moving Christmas lights, a kaleidoscope or coloring book)
- Listening to a guided meditation (or calming music) will bring Zen back in
When I’m in a pinch or know I’m going into a stressful situation, I keep sour candy on hand. If my anxiety begins feeling overwhelming, popping a piece of candy in my mouth allows me to instantly turn my brain away from whatever I was worrying about beforehand so I have time to refocus on something more positive.
I mention the senses because they are easy tools to use when you’re not carrying your self-care arsenal and you’re feeling down or overworked or frustrated. Get creative and come up with ways to use each of your five senses to refocus your energy. I promise you, these are lifesavers when you’re in a bind or you’re hit with hard emotions unexpectedly (and they are free, easy resources to use just about anywhere).
4. Write a Gratitude Journal
Every night, write down 5 things throughout the day you are thankful for. These things can simply be “I am alive” or “I enjoyed my morning tea” or they can be more complex. The point is to focus on gratitude each and every day, so you remember that even when things aren’t going the way you’d hoped or planned for, there are still things to be thankful for.
When I sit down and write this list each night before bed, I am often reminded that my life is full of a lot of happiness I can overlook when I think about what I don’t have. It’s a perspective shift and instant mood enhancer, and something I find to be an easy self-care tip that – again – is cost free and effective.
Happy holidays, MCRM family. As I type this, I have a candle burning and the dogs are all snoring. We are enjoying a quiet, calm Saturday at home (and ignoring the fact that we still need to shop) because that’s what we need to make today the best it can be.
May you and yours find peace and joy over the next several weeks. You absolutely deserve it.]]>
