(This outcome can occur in about 1 in 500 egg retrieval cases) I spent about 24 hours under watch with heavy pain meds, on a liquid diet just in case the bleeding didn’t stop and they needed to cauterize it shut or if my body would heal itself. Now, I could stop here and wait for people to tell me how scary or rare that was. I’d likely get some sympathy and be able to move about the cabin. But I can assure you it’s unnecessary. Because while in the emergency room at the second hospital, we got a call from MCRM that told us 12 of our mature eggs were fertilized. Now, what happened to me was a fluke. An unfortunate, painful and scary fluke, but I knew going into this – and have learned at every turn – that expecting everything to go as we planned is going to lead to devastation or disappointment. When you’re on this journey, you have to hold on to and cherish the good moments or you’re going to crumble. It’s one day at a time. It just has to be. Twelve little chances at parenthood, a step closer to reaching what we hope for, a needed moment of joy in the midst of crisis. When you’re going through IVF, you have to find the joy. Search it out relentlessly and hang the heck onto it. Because when you do you’ll remember why you’re going through whatever this journey throws at you: ovarian resistance or internal bleeding, multiple cycles or – hell – even having to walk away after you think you’ve tapped all your resources (or decide you’ve been put through the ringer enough). Regardless of the next step, you have to celebrate the joy. Today I am thankful my doctor cared enough to take those 4a.m. emergency calls. I’m thankful the staff heard and – without hesitation – came to visit me at the hospital. I’m thankful Dr. A set me free that night and sent me home with an honest “You’re going to be in debilitating pain, but we’re going to watch you and you’re going to be okay.” I’m thankful for my husband who refused to leave my side and sent family to our house to take care of the dogs. Above all, I’m thankful speaking my truth has provided a level of support I never dreamed I’d have. It’s made all the difference in my mindset through our first cycle. For those of you starting in October, gearing up for another go, or planning ahead for 2017, please know it won’t be easy. It won’t be what you expect and you’ll lose your stuff several times through cycling, but if you can put that into perspective and remember the good of it still outweighs the bad, if you can find the joy, you’re going to give this IVF thing one hell of a fight. And you were born to be a warrior. For previous episodes of, “Yeah ME, too” click here. About Lindsay Fischer & Her Books Lindsay Fischer was once a high school English teacher with dreams stretching far outside the classroom. Lindsay has faced numerous turmoils and pitfalls in her life and today’s revolve around the dream of becoming a loving mother. Lindsay’s two books, The House on Sunset and The Two Week Wait Challenge: A Sassy Girl’s Guide to Surviving the TWW both provide self-help advice for how others can battle through as has Lindsay.]]>